Hey, I have an idea! Now trust me, this is great. It will be lots of fun and we will take the neighbor’s food. And not just their groceries, we're sticking our fingers in the cookie jar, after the good stuff- their candy. Now there's only one catch, you have to get dressed up in the scariest costume you can create and walk the neighborhood at night. But trust me- you'll be fine!
Sound silly? No, we'll esteem this day. Actually, let’s make it a holiday. We can place it right before Thanksgiving and Christmas. Perfect.
Let's hold the phone on this one for just a silly second, may we? It's easy to make light of the very popular October 31st holiday Halloween because we know it's all just fun and games, and of course, we know every kid wants a free bucket load of treats every year. Is this a wise decision though, to hold Halloween so lightly? Absolutely not! Put down that candy cigarette and listen up. Halloween should be no more!
While Jesus was born on Christmas Day and the Pilgrims made peace with the Indians on Thanksgiving Day, Halloween can be dated back to the Celtics around the time of Christ. Their Halloween differered slightly from ours, however. Our children parade the neighborhood in firefighter outfits and ballerina costumes collecting candy. Their children marched the roadside of rural Ireland with masks of terror and wickedness in hopes of implementing fear into the evil spirits who dwelled in their towns. Their Halloween wasn't called Halloween it was instead labeled Hallows Eve- or sanctifying day. This can't be what we want our children celebrating on a yearly basis. If we can take it away we’ll not only have a safer living environment every October but better behaving children as well.
There's talk each December of taking Christ's name out of Christmas yet there's no discussion of the important value of Halloween night. We, as the American people have to see the strange realities of the problem and the impact this possesses.
Now I'm not a writer just to point out the problem. I'm not here just to judge. I have a solution. If Halloween is kicked out of the holiday circle we'll need a suitable replacement. Yes, something else that is comparable in stature yet not offensive in nature- to anyone. Tooth fairy Day. Yes, that's right. On the day of October 31st on a yearly basis starting this year, of course, we'll be celebrating the infamous Tooth fairy, whose mysterious nature has been a secret to us all since childhood. Children will dress for school on this day as fairies- boys included. They'll walk the halls in their costumes, comparable to Halloween, yet the domestic un-harmful costumes will not offend a soul. Children will have a mandatory visit to the dentist to have a complimentary tooth removed. Let's make that a complimentary front tooth removed. These teeth won’t be taken in vain however; they will be rewarded with the usual dollar bill under their pillow.
You know what? Screw it! Don’t forget your Double Bubble and have a Snickers festival this year- trick or treat everyone.